INDIANA – When’s the last time you tried something new without worrying about whether you would be good at it? As children, we would happily play and try new things; thoughts of failure did not consume us. However, as adults, we often avoid hobbies unless we believe we can master them.
At what point in our lives does this change-up happen? How can we be successful role models to students, expect them to improve, and not add to the pressure of perfectionism?
We live in a society that thrives on performance, productivity, and perfection. This can be harmful when dealing with children. Students often feel pressured to be perfect at everything they do. If they are unsure if they will be good at something, they may avoid it altogether. The way society has made “good enough” seem like “not enough” will often push students to the point of not trying at all.
The message students need to hear is that they do not have to be perfect or even good at something to grow. Even without perfection, a hobby, physical activity, or passion can greatly support a student’s mental well-being. The fear of failure is holding many students back from reaching their full potential. Studies show that trying new activities boosts creativity, lowers stress, and even helps build resilience.
When students only do what they are already good at, they may miss out on experiences that could bring them new joy, diverse friendships, and valuable life skills. When students try something new without the added pressure of being perfect, they can build resiliency, boost their confidence, encourage creativity, and have a positive outlet for stress. It also takes the pressure off for them to feel like they must perform competently to be worthy of love or attention. Children need to learn the art of normalizing mistakes —of not fearing them —while also shifting their brains from fight-or-flight to a state of calm.
As adults, we can encourage this mindset by praising their effort over the mastery or perfectionism. Teachers and parents can also model imperfection. Try something new, give yourself grace when you fail, and laugh it off when things do not go as planned. This will model just how safe it is to take risks without fear of embarrassment.
Growing up can be stressful and full of pressure for students, but not everything has to be about perfect grades, scores, or achievement. Encourage students to “fail” so they can explore who they really are, discover new passions, and build confidence. When we let go of being perfect at something, we permit ourselves to enjoy it. That joy can be a surprisingly powerful tool for our mental health. Maybe the shift starts by picking one thing you can do “badly” on purpose. Not only will it lighten your mood, but you might have more fun than you have had in a long time.
Niki Walls, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Bell Intermediate Academy in Morgan County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families are served each year by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.
