INDIANA – Emotional regulation is a child’s ability to understand, express, and manage their feelings in healthy ways. This skill begins developing early in life and continues to grow throughout childhood. Children do not learn emotional regulation on their own. Instead, they develop it through everyday interactions with parents, caregivers, peers, and their environment.
From a very young age, children look to adults to learn how emotions work. When parents comfort their child, name emotions, or help them calm down when they are upset, they are teaching important emotional skills. For example, when a parent acknowledges a child’s frustration and offers reassurance, the child begins to learn how to cope with strong feelings. Over time, these repeated moments help children manage emotions more independently.
Some children experience social isolation without parents realizing it. This can happen when children spend long periods using screens, are sent to their rooms for extended periods, or have limited opportunities to play with other children. When face-to-face interaction is reduced, children miss valuable opportunities to practice social and emotional skills in real-world situations. These missed experiences can affect how children learn to regulate their emotions.
Spending time with other children plays a key role in emotional development. Through play and occasional conflict, children experience excitement, anger, jealousy, and disappointment. Learning to share, take turns, and work through disagreements helps children build patience, flexibility, and self-control. When children don’t experience regular peer interaction, they may struggle more with frustration and emotional reactions.
Social isolation can also heighten negative emotions. Children who spend a lot of time alone may feel lonely, anxious, or bored, even if they cannot explain these feelings. Without regular interaction, children may have difficulty understanding what they are feeling and how to respond appropriately. This can lead to frequent tantrums, withdrawal from others, or trouble calming down after small challenges.
Language development is closely connected to emotional regulation. Talking with adults and other children helps children learn the words they need to describe their emotions. When children have limited social interaction, they may have fewer opportunities to hear and practice emotional language. As a result, children may become frustrated when they cannot express how they feel, leading to emotional outbursts.
The good news is that parents can make a meaningful difference. Warm and responsive relationships help protect children from the negative effects of social isolation. Simple daily actions such as maintaining routines, talking openly about feelings, offering comfort during difficult moments, and spending quality time together all support emotional growth. Creating opportunities for social play, such as playdates, family activities, or group programs, can also help children practice emotional and social skills.
To help your child learn to regulate their emotions, below are some suggested ways to engage with them:
- Eat dinner as a family at the table without screens
- Read together
- Play a board or card game
- Play outside
- Ask your child about their day
- Ask your child about their future using open-ended questions
- Be emotionally available to your child by limiting digital distractions
- Limit screen time for all household members
By staying engaged, present, and intentional, parents can help their children build strong emotional regulation skills that support healthy relationships, confidence, and emotional well-being throughout their lives.
Jordan Evans, MSW, LSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at Daniel Wertz Elementary School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families each year are served by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.
