INDIANA – One of the hardest things for a parent is to see their child struggle and not have the power to “fix” it. We all want happy, healthy children. To achieve that, however, we must allow kids to experience and understand a whole range of emotions.
When children learn that all emotions are acceptable and a normal part of human life, they can begin to cope with them in healthy, positive ways. This helps them build empathy, resilience, and more positive self-esteem. When we talk openly with children about their emotions, we also teach them that we are a supportive, safe space, regardless of what they are experiencing.
Here are some simple ways to support your child’s emotion identification skills:
- Talk about emotions daily. Make it a habit to check in with your child about how they are feeling, and then really listen to what they have to say. Please don’t rush to resolve or soothe their feelings. Be a safe support before you offer solutions.
- Recognize your child’s emotions and respond with compassion. Again, it is easy to offer reassurance, but this may come off as dismissive to your child. If they tell you they are scared and you respond with, “There’s nothing to be scared of,” you are not hearing them as they express their emotions. One of the easiest ways to respond with compassion is by repeating your child’s emotion back to them. “I can see you are feeling sad. Do you want to talk about it?”
- Model, model, model. The best thing we can do as parents is to demonstrate healthy ways to respond to emotions. Kids learn by observing the world around them. When we continually show our children that complex emotions can be handled positively, they will follow suit.
- Help your child develop a range of coping tools for difficult emotions. There is no “one-size-fits-all” solution for emotional regulation. If deep breaths work for one person, they may not work for the next. Some skills can be used at home but not in a classroom. Brainstorm several different strategies for your child to have available.
- Ask your child to identify emotions in others, as well. As your child learns to recognize their own feelings, help them recognize others’ feelings too. What does a sad, happy, scared face look like? How can you tell your friend is angry? This helps build empathy and an understanding of how to support others’ emotional health.
Successful adults can understand and regulate emotions. You can help support your child’s future success by building emotion identification skills now.
Brooke Skipper, MSW, LCSW, is a Youth First Mental Health Professional at St. Benedict Catholic School in Vanderburgh County. Youth First, Inc., is a nonprofit dedicated to strengthening youth and families. Youth First provides over 100 highly trained mental health professionals (primarily master’s level social workers), prevention programs, parent engagement coordinators, and bilingual support personnel to 130 schools across 14 Indiana counties. Over 55,000 youth and families are served each year by Youth First’s school-based social work and community programs that promote mental health, prevent substance misuse, and maximize student success. To learn more about Youth First, visit youthfirstinc.org or call 812-421-8336.
