Steele: Opinions Are Like Belly Buttons

I realize that opinions are like belly buttons, everybody has one and most people don’t care about yours.

That being said, I had to get this one off my chest. The CIA is being investigated for unauthorized interrogation techniques. Wow! I read today where it was reported that Abd al Rahim al-Sashiri, who masterminded the attack on the U.S.S. Cole that killed 17 U.S. sailors was the victim of unauthorized acts of interrogation when CIA blew cigar smoke in his face. Oh my Gosh noooo. Please. I am a victim. My dear mother used to fire up the 55 Buick and put me in the seat next to her so she could put her arm out and hold me back so if she had to slam on the brakes. She was sure she could protect me from that metal dash board. Then, before she would turn the key she would take out a Camel stud and light it up. Man, if I had only known then what I know now I could have sued her. ACLU -vs- Marie "Pete" Steele. I can see it now. "Your honor, she didn't roll down the windows either. It was awful."

You know this crazy country needs some darned balance. What I call unauthorized techniques is slitting the jugular vein of the pilot and co-pilot and flying the plane into the Twin Towers killing close to 3,000. What I call serious misconduct is having fire lap at your back side and deciding to jump out of a 100 story window instead of feel your flesh bubble away and you hair dissolve. Now that is a decision none of us would ever want to have to make. What I call pain is a man calling his wife on a cell phone and trying to leave her a final message on an answering machine before the other tower crumbles and shreds him like he was in a blender.

Our Congress apparently passed a law that says you cannot threaten a prisoner. Nobody is above the law , and as a lawyer I appreciate that fact. But I am supposed to get myself in a sweat because the interrogators told Khalid Sheiky Muhummad, the mastermind of the 9-11 attacks that they were going to kill his kids if he didn't talk. Boo Hoo Hoo. How about a few thousand kids who sat in the floor and cried every Christmas morning after 9-11 because Mommy or Daddy was now a pile of protoplasm and goo that went to the heavens as their remains were cremated in the rubble of the towers that smoldered for a month after the attack. They will never have their parent's neck to wrap their arms around and cry. They will never have a parent to ask advice from. Their children will be denied their grandparents and the love and support that comes with that job. And our Attorney General thinks tax dollars should be spent to investigate this?

Balance is all I seek any more. I see people who cry over Michael Vick and have long debates about whether he should be readmitted to the NFL. Hours of television news coverage devoted to this tripe. Don't get me wrong, I don't like people who abuse animals, but for once I would like these same adults to get as emotionally involved and express as much moral outrage to those who perform partial birth abortions and take an otherwise normal baby part way out of the birth canal and stick a scalpel into its brain and stir the contents to the consistency of scrambled eggs. I would like to see a human life entitled to more dignity than a dog and I would like to see our leaders and our courts take serious the threats to our national safety and treat those who would kill us with just a little more, shall I say, spunk. These terrorists would cut off your head with a dull hunting knife if you were in their custody and the roles were reversed. And we, on the other hand, are blubbering in our corn flakes about blowing smoke in their faces. Give me a break. And Mom, if you can look down from Heaven and see what's going on down here, don't look. You would be ashamed how weak we have become. You wouldn't recognize much any more.

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